This morning (some time between 12:35 and 12:56) I came to a stunning realization. There are so many things in this world that go overlooked and unappreciated: form autofill options, remotes, microwaves, and (of course) brushing your teeth in the shower. Basically things we do out of laziness. So for the next year, because of a New Year's resolution I made, I will add at least 52 posts dedicated to shedding light on some things you may have never tried or that you always do but never think about. If that was a bad explanation, then I hope my next words will express what I'm trying to do.
I decided to take a shower tonight. "He decided to?" you may ask. Yes. I decided to. This may seem disturbing if not downright gross if I fail to mention that I normally shower in the mornings. However, I opted for the nocturnal shower because I've recently become a gleek and found I'm more alert when I watch episodes as soon as I wake up. A shower would throw me off my episode schedule. I was waiting for the episode 'Never Been Kissed' to buffer on my pirated tv show website and thought a shower would pass the time perfectly. Now, I had just come back from vacation with the fam so I unpacked my shower gel, toothbrush, and washcloth. In the bathroom I realized that I had brought my toothbrush into the shower with me. I could either open that God awful bathroom door and put my toothbrush on the sink or (now here is the inspiration for this blog) I could avoid dirtying my face after cleaning it by getting the toothpaste and brushing in the shower. I chose the latter.
It was a simple act of laziness, but as I stood in the shower with the hot water running down my back and the cool mint rushing through my mouth, I felt the satisfaction one can only get by being clean inside and out at the same time. And what did I do when I was done? I spit on the floor and watched as the bubbles floated down the drain. No more worrying about the nastiness of old crusty spit in the sink or flicking toothpaste-infused spit onto the mirror.
Brushing my teeth in the shower was a pure act of self-gratifying laziness and it is one of those little pleasures in life that are overlooked and under appreciated. Therefore, 'Showers and Toothpaste' has come to symbolize laziness and human ingenuity in its purest form. Stay lazy my friends.
-Showers and Toothpaste
