On relationships...

I was never allowed to have a girlfriend until I 'got my Ph.D'. In retrospect, I think my parents were exaggerating about the level of my education, but they wanted to make sure I didn't have a girlfriend until I went to college. I used to think this was totally unfair and they didn't understand the feelings of a teenage boy in this day and age and blah blah blah...

I just woke up. Literally just woke up from a dream with my first 'girlfriend', Sandra. I was immature and stupid in the 8th grade and ended something that could have been awesome and meaningful for the rest of my life, and now whenever I see her, I just see how beautiful she's become and how childish I was, but I digress. I'm training my lucid dreaming and I noticed that whenever she comes into the dream, I'm not really awake. She's not like Cobb's wife and starts killing everybody. No, she's like my girlfriend, but older. She's everything I wanted us to be but lacked the maturity to achieve. 

So I was thinking: my parents probably didn't want me or my siblings to get involved in any romantic relationships because we could miss out on a lot of opportunities that would affect our lives. If I had stayed with Sandra, I wouldn't have gone to Africa. I wouldn't have started full-time in college in the 11th grade. I wouldn't have the awesome friends I have now. I wouldn't be so awkward around girls. Wait... I wouldn't mind that last one lol.

Readers, think about this: what did you or would have missed out on because of a romantic relationship in your teen years? You may be married to your high school sweetheart now, but just think about what could have been. It's an interesting detour in your daily musings. My parents only had my best interest in mind and I didn't even realize it until now. Ya my kids are going to have to have a salary job before they can start dating haha.

-S&T

Transsexuals

So I need a question answered, and ladies please don't be offended: nice tits are nice tits are nice tits regardless of the body, right? My roommates and I are watching Jerry Springer and there are a bunch of transsexuals running around. One comes out and I say in typical guy fashion, "Those are some nice tits." One guy said that's gay, but I was like if they're nice looking tits, then they're nice looking tits. Sometimes guys look at girls just for the niceness of their breasts and nothing else. So why should it be different if a guy has nice lady-looking tatas? Think about it.

-S&T

Drama or The Real Andy Dufresne

I don't get out much. My days consist of going from class to lunch to a meeting to my room. Wash, rinse, and repeat. My friends always talk about all the drama that goes on around campus while I sit in the corner and chuckle silently to myself. I don't get involved with that "drama" stuff. Fools. Shit rains down around me and I seem to come out clean. Andy Dufresne ain't got shit (I know lol) on me. I shared this observation with one of my friends and he said it was because I'm never around. Never around? I'm around plenty! Aren't I? This prompted me to evaluate my days and I realized that I really am never around.

Here's where I made my first mistake: I deviated from the schedule. Instead of heading straight to my room or the computer lab, I hung around one of the cafes on campus where my circle of friends resides. As soon as I finish my mediocre hamburger (I like the cafeteria food better), drama rears it's ugly head. I'm the only guy left and the girls start talking around me. Hey, there my friends too so I'll just hang around and do some studying. Second mistake.

Bitch mode erupts around me and I'm just unarmed civilian trying to dodge the bombshells of hate spewing from their mouths! When the salvo subsides, I dust myself off and get back to studying for my next exam. Third mistake.

No sooner than the bitches leave, the best of people comes and we hit it off amazingly. It's weird because I know the guy, but had never talked to him, but it's like we were grown in the same test tube or something. We like the same shows, read the same books, and crack the same jokes. We're like intellectual dopplegangers. So we get to talking and the bitchfest comes up. Fourth mistake.

Turns out, he's best friends with the subject of the bitchfest and he's pissed. He wants names and blood. The subject arrives about an hour later and he tells her about the attack on her character. She's pissed. He's pissed. And I'm realizing just how much shit I've gotten myself into.

Drama has come to me my nonexistent readers. I have become another cog in the machine that destroys friendships, strains relationships, and cracks the very foundations between people we often refer to as 'trust'. I love my friends, but I don't excuse their actions. The girl has confronted the other girls. I've remained unnamed and have once again come out of the shit rain clean. But only on the outside. Inside, my conscience is smeared with guilt and the loneliness that is only brought on by keeping a dark secret.

-S&T

An Emotional Online Poem Against An Emotional Online Post

"Mixed signals are the worst signals" you say?
What if it was a signal misplaced?
Or what if being nice was a mistake?
My friendship was out there,
Not my love to take.
The Cross and the Crescent
Will never know one another.
So listen well afro-sistah:
Go cry to another.
Because I don't want nor desire
Your passion or fire.
Just a friend.
A friend is all I ask.
And ask I shall again:
Be my friend?
The love of your life is one out of billions,
But the friend of a lifetime could be right here.
So my Lady of the East,
Won't you smile at me please?
I'm not a hajj to the Rock,
But a lonely soul on this rock.
I shan't be your love nor your lover,
But I'll love you as a brother,
A fellow struggler in this short life.
Forgive me my deceptions.
Forgive me my sins.
Forgive me
My friend.

This "overflow of emotion" was born out of a fucked up situation started by chatting with an acquaintance on facebook two weeks ago. Two mind you. I gave her my phone number because I honestly couldn't type a response to a question she'd asked me. She won't stop with the texts afterwards. I am okay texting too. I do it a lot haha. I responded to her texts with the same amount of thought I put towards all texts from my friends, but I could sense the hinting in her voice when I spoke with and texted her. "New friend! Great!", I thought, but I knew what she wanted and I couldn't think of a way to deny her without losing a friend (which I HATE). Now, I'm reading this status (first line of poem) and am feeling so many things:

• Confusion: Because the only signal I wasn't sending was the 'I-want-a-romantic-relationship' signal.
• Anger: Because this is not at all how I wanted this relationship to end up and I know the shit-talking's probably already started.
• Anger (again): Because my frat big bro agreed with it, not realizing the situation smh. 

I know this was long. tldr if you want, but I just had to put my Degrassi aside when I saw this one and let it out in literature so I don't walk across the room and rip the dartboard from the wall. And it's my blog! About me! My very own public/private journal! awesome.

-S&T

S&T #2

Here's a S&T moment for ya.

Minced Garlic (and ramen)
It's pretty much The Shit. I'm not talking about the dry stuff. No, the wet stuff that makes your finger smell for a day if you spill some of the juice on it. I compare minced garlic to brushing your teeth in the shower because it is enjoyable, simple, and it enhances your life over and over and over again. You can add it to anything (you cook) and it will make even the most boring of recipes have your taste buds crying in ecstasy for you to stop. But they don't really mean it.
It will make toast even more delicious and add a satisfyingly crunchy garlic crust to the topside to boot. Tired of that bland chicken breast your mom makes you? Sprinkle some minced garlic on top of it before it goes in the oven and BAM you have delicious chicken.

My personal favorite use for it (and my own personal discovery) is in ramen noodles.
Directions:

1. In 2 cups of water, add a splash of milk, the contents of the season packet, and 10-15 grains of minced garlic.
2. Bring the water to boil in a pot.
3. Add the brick of noodles to water.
4. Boil until desired texture is reached.

And you have what I like to call  Playing on the Beach in Summer. Now right after step 3, you can crack an egg into the pot and let it cook nearly all the way through so the yolk will be firm but chewy. You can also add the egg right before you finish cooking and scramble it throughout the noodles (my favorite way). Whenever I add an egg to my cooking, I add 'in Japan' to the end of the title haha. 

ex: Playing on the Beach in Summer in Japan

So ya. Minced garlic. Live it. Eat it. Swear by it. Don't brush your teeth with it though. Gross.

-Showers & Toothpaste

Taste of Freedom

So this will be the first real entry into this blog because I am in my right mind and have actually made time for this. I will write a poem that has something to do with freedom. We'll see how this goes...

I gotta clear my lungs for this
Because this is about to be the biggest hit yet.
Inhale deeply.
Taste the freedom swirl inside my dry mouth.
Feel my liberty-enriched blood rush to my head;
Straight to the brain and
Take captive my mind.
But I don't mind.
My choice was made be the past me for this present me.
So now I'm presented a new dilemma:
Which freedom is for me?
The freedom I take with my own two hands,
Or the freedom that comes from the destruction of life?
Flora and fauna.
Soma and pneuma.
I don't have the answer,
But there's one who knows
So I will listen to the Logos
And of my bondage,
I will let go.

And that was it! The last time I wrote online was with my friend Ben in South Africa over messenger. It was pretty cool so I'll put it up in the next post if I remember. Stay tuned and keep on the lookout for Shower and Toothpaste moments.

Two-Shot

Okay, so I'm going to try to make this whole blogging thing work this time. As soon as I posted, I realized I couldn't stay true to my blog topic. The one-shot has been revived! From now on, I'll just post my feelings, share some of my poetry, and basically that narcissistic sliver buried deep within me. Stroke my egoooo. Okay stay on the lookout for new and improved SHOWERS AND TOOTHPASTE!!!

The Christening

This morning (some time between 12:35 and 12:56) I came to a stunning realization. There are so many things in this world that go overlooked and unappreciated: form autofill options, remotes, microwaves, and (of course) brushing your teeth in the shower. Basically things we do out of laziness. So for the next year, because of a New Year's resolution I made, I will add at least 52 posts dedicated to shedding light on some things you may have never tried or that you always do but never think about. If that was a bad explanation, then I hope my next words will express what I'm trying to do.

I decided to take a shower tonight. "He decided to?" you may ask. Yes. I decided to. This may seem disturbing if not downright gross if I fail to mention that I normally shower in the mornings. However, I opted for the nocturnal shower because I've recently become a gleek and found I'm more alert when I watch episodes as soon as I wake up. A shower would throw me off my episode schedule. I was waiting for the episode 'Never Been Kissed' to buffer on my pirated tv show website and thought a shower would pass the time perfectly. Now, I had just come back from vacation with the fam so I unpacked my shower gel, toothbrush, and washcloth. In the bathroom I realized that I had brought my toothbrush into the shower with me. I could either open that God awful bathroom door and put my toothbrush on the sink or (now here is the inspiration for this blog) I could avoid dirtying my face after cleaning it by getting the toothpaste and brushing in the shower. I chose the latter.

It was a simple act of laziness, but as I stood in the shower with the hot water running down my back and the cool mint rushing through my mouth, I felt the satisfaction one can only get by being clean inside and out at the same time. And what did I do when I was done? I spit on the floor and watched as the bubbles floated down the drain. No more worrying about the nastiness of old crusty spit in the sink or flicking toothpaste-infused spit onto the mirror.

Brushing my teeth in the shower was a pure act of self-gratifying laziness and it is one of those little pleasures in life that are overlooked and under appreciated. Therefore, 'Showers and Toothpaste' has come to symbolize laziness and human ingenuity in its purest form. Stay lazy my friends.

-Showers and Toothpaste